i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
