just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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