Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
