the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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