I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
