toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
