where am i from again
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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