We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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