It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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