I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
