dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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