Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
4 words: hood of his car
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
