I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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