he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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