bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
