Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
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