I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize