I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
That reminds me...we need to get swords
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
