my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
