fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
