hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
