Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize