i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
