? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
