? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
