just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she peed on how many people?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
