feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
