it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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