I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
