So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
