Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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