She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
