I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
