The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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