super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
