What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
