Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Is Oprah even human
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
