Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
