oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
