i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
