did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
where are you?
Hypothermia
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
