dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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