ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
