We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
