kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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