we're chasing vodka with high fives
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
