You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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