You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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