haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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