Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
