Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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