CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
