so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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