I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
