the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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