The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
