so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize