ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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