its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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