I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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