I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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