You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize