you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
