my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
