I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
