she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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